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Pride; The Poison of Marriage

Ask any member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, and they will tell you how proud they are of their Prophet.  We love the direction, inspiration, and love provided by these experienced men!  One such man was Ezra Taft Benson, who served as the Prophet and President of the Church starting in the mid 80's.  And as proud as we are of our wise leaders, President Benson warned in his 1989 discourse entitled "Beware of Pride" that we should be cautious of certain types of pride;
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Ezra Taft Benson
(Photo Source; https://www.thechurchnews.com)
"Some prideful people are not so concerned as to whether their wages meet their needs as they are that their wages are more than someone else’s. Their reward is being a cut above the rest. This is the enmity of pride."
The webster dictionary definition of enmity is "the state or feeling of being actively opposed or hostile to someone or something".
So let's look at a scenario.  He comes home from work, and is exhausted.  He flops down on the couch and only has enough time to takes a few deep breaths before his wife is storming into the room. With a crying child in arm, she begins,
"Aren't you going to do something to help? I'm exhausted"
"I'm exhausted too! I've had a rough day at work trying to provide for the family, like I do every day, and I need a break!"
"You think I don't do anything all day? You don't think I need a break? Get over yourself."
The scenario is miserably all too familiar.  The worst part is that it's a seemingly endless battle with no clear winner. Years before, you can probably picture them at the alter, exchanging vows and explaining why they loved each other - not who's turn it was to take a breather.  How did they get to this point?  Nobody is right, and both are right.  But when the pendulum has swung to "worse", and "better" is over, how do couples get through it?
There isn't an answer that can be stamped over every case file of marital strife.  No, I don't have a pill for it, and there isn't a single self help book that can solve everyone's problems collectively.  However, identifying the problem is the first step.  
President Benson indicated the source; Pride.  When we are concerned about the "wages" of our spouse (what they have given, need, or want), to our own, we set ourselves "actively opposed or hostile" to him or her.  The cure?  Humility.  I know, it seems vague, but the word humility incites a powerful vaccine to the adverse affects of pride syndrome.  
"When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom."
— Proverbs 11:2
Try an exercise this week to help with your marriage;
Imagine a more humble you.  Write down what qualities exemplify yourself when you are being humble.  Write down reasons why you sometimes turn away from those wholesome tendencies.  Now, spend the week looking for opportunities taken and missed considering your goals to exemplify the more humble you!
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(Photo Source; https://www.nbcnews.com)
When we do our best to stand eye to eye with our spouse, we can see things from their perspective - giving room for empathy and compassion.  I hope that we'll all take on the challenge to show more urgency for the important things - listening to, thinking about, and learning from each other.  Those are the building blocks of any good relationship.

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